okay, so before i spend my time sleeping. i think i have to blog something.
i know i have been emo for days which kept my blog alive more than ever. and well, you see, i blog alot when i'm emo. i write good stuff when im emo. i draw good stuff when im emo.
i think im happy. hmm...i really am. 3 days of actually mourning about ex lover was a waste of time. fine, i still think about him. i cant take that away just yet. BUT, there were kind of changes last night.
thinking about him still hurts me. yes. i cant deny that. but i have to be happy. its a need. and i am now. who said that no one could be happy and hurt at the same time?
i am happy because i know there are better things in store for me in the future. i can tell that clearly. it is so vivid, i could tell it to you in details (but i wont).
i have plans. plans that will be kept for now. plans that will work MY WAY. dreams that will be true. dreams that will eventually be part of the present.
i totally agree that this was all partly my fault. well, i dont think "fault" is the right word to use. since i cant find the exact word, just think of it as a "positive" kind of fault. i dunno. sheesh! my brain isnt functioning right now. (the works of being happy inside.) whatever. it was my fault. fine.
talking to frans helped me bring back my inner happy side. everything he said was so true. the mature guy that he is.frans: think of it this way.. do you really deserve to stay miserable while he's out there, just fine as he is?
that woke me up.
and that ends my blog for tonight. :)